Yeah. About that.
We were getting really excited by 37 weeks. The doctor had already told us that at 36 weeks, we were dilated 1/2cm, and that anytime after 37 weeks, she wouldn't stop labor if it started on its own. She estimated her to weigh 7 lbs, 11 ozs at birth. Of course, every movement, every cramp, every contraction had us on edge. After all, since we were going to induce at 39 weeks, we only had two weeks to go! The bag was packed, the vet had been contacted about boarding our pup while we were in the hospital, the family was all on stand-by...
Friday before the scheduled induction. When we went for our 38 week appointment, the last Ob/Gyn appointment of the pregnancy, my dilation had disappeared. Our daughter had squished herself back up into my belly. Dr. Ollar examined me, and the words came. "I don't think you're a good candidate for an induction right now." WHAT? I just cried and cried. Maybe it was emotional. Maybe it was me being impatient. Maybe I was already nervous and tired of being pregnant all summer and now we're talking about tacking that extra week back on. Ugh. But as she examined my belly, and felt around on our baby girl, she said, "I'd like to schedule an ultrasound."
Instantly, I was worried. When I asked why we needed one, in my obviously panicked voice, she said that she thought the baby was getting quite large, and was worried that she would get stuck on the way out. Luckily for us, there was an ultrasound tech still there that afternoon, and she was able to do the measurements for us. As she scanned all over my belly with that cold wand, we watched her measure bones, head diameter, and torso size. As she plugged the numbers into the computer, a box popped up for just a few seconds and I thought my jaw would hit the floor. Those numbers had her weight estimated THAT DAY at 8 lbs, 12 ozs, +/- ONE POUND! The screen flipped off just after it flashed up there, so, of course, I say, "Did that just say 8 lbs, 12 ozs, +/- a pound??" Her response was, "Uhhh, I just give all the info to the doctor, and she'll fill you in."
But I know what I saw. And I know that, that late in the pregnancy, she was gaining an ounce every day.
We walked back out into the hall, and the tech handed Dr. Ollar the printout. Dr. Ollar looked at it for about 5 seconds, and looked up at Bobby and I and said, "So, how much do you like your vagina? Because I think we need to do a c-section."
I broke down in tears. This was not in the plan. I'm terrified of being cut open, especially while I'm awake. She said we could either induce and let me labor for 20 hours and then end up doing a c-section anyway, or we could just schedule it, and try to be relaxed about doing it in a non-emergency kind of situation. So we scheduled it for the following Tuesday, four days later. I cried all the way home. I went from ready to not ready in about 2.3 seconds. Bobby could hardly console me. I had not read any books or articles on c-section recovery. I hadn't bought any recovery supplies for a c-section. I felt so unprepared.
All that evening, all I did was google "c-section" and "c-section recovery" and "c-section packing list for the hospital." At one point, I made the huge mistake of searching YouTube for "c-section", only to be greeted by some cell phone video of a traumatic c-section in some third world country. OMG. Huge mistake. All weekend, I tried to prepare my mind for what was coming. Looking back now, I know I overreacted, but I had a plan, and this was going to be a huge deviation from it. The night before the the big day, my sweet husband dropped our dog off at the vet to board, and took me to eat Pho. We sat and talked about how it was our last meal before becoming parents, what we thought she'd look like, and how excited we were to finally meet her. He was going to be in the room with me, holding my hand the whole time, and for the first time in days, I finally felt calm.
The nurse had told us that I couldn't eat anything after midnight the night before, so after we had Pho that evening, we went home, packed the car, snuggled, and set our alarms for 11:50pm. We both got up and had a bowl of Cheerios together just before midnight. Alarm was set for 5:30am. No turning back now!
